Chinese Stereotypes
I was blog surfing during lunchtime and I found this on
May's site - the Others section. (May = Akuma's sister). I thought it was hilarious, but I was surprised that many of these aren't true... for me at least. Thought it'll be interesting for an afternoon leisure read.
You were/are a good student with very high GPAs.
True. Graduated with Honors.
You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or finance.
False. Advertising. There were only 2 other chinese in my college though.
You have more than one college degrees, especially more than one Master's.
False. But plan to in the near future.
If you play a musical instrument, it must be piano. Or violin.
True. Piano.
You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
False. No table cloth. But it's covered with junk mails.
Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.
False.
Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it.
False. I cleaned it with the miracle cleaner: Orange Glo :)
You beat eggs with chopsticks.
False. I haven't mastered my chopsticks skills yet. A wisk does the job pretty well.
You always leave outdoor shoes at the door.
False. I wear shoes in the house. Drove my parents nuts when I went home for vacation.
You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
Hahaha. Guilty.
You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.
False. I don't own a Thermos.
You boil water before drinking.
False. I trust good old Brita, or Pur, whichever one is in my fridge now.
You eat all meals in the kitchen to keep your dining room clean.
False. Usually it's on the coffee table in front of the TV.
You don't use measuring cups when preparing foods.
False. I have the ultimate measuring cup from Pampered Chef that I use even to measure water.
You save grocery bags and use them to hold garbage.
False. I bring them back to the store for recycling.
You have a rice cooker.
False. I use a regular pot if and when I cook rice, which is almost never.
You're a wok user.
False. Although I do have a pan that's deeper than a conventional pan. But it's flat at the bottom.
You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
Gosh. Very true. Especially when going out with the other 3 aunties!
You wash rice 2-3 times before cooking it.
True.
You make sounds when you have a bowl of soup.
True.
Your don't dry-clean cloths, even if they need to be dry-cleaned.
Depends on how much I paid for them. But true.
You iron your own shirts.
True.
You like congee (Zhou1) with thousand year old eggs (Song1 Hua1).
True for the first part. I like congee, but not with those eggs. In fact, when the 4aunties get together for dim sum, that's the thing that Elaine and I always pick out from the bowl. Right Elaine? *Laugh*
You always cook yourself, even if you hate it.
You mean make my own dinner? True, but only once a week.
You use credit cards, and pay monthly bills in full.
Very true.
You keep most of your money in a savings account.
Mostly true.
You buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.
False.
When you hand wash dishes, you only use cold water.
True. Except during winter times.
You hate to waste food:
a) Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.
b) You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
False. I used to. Not anymore.
You don't own any real Tupperware--only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
False. In fact, I love the ZipLock containers. I use them for everything.
You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.
False.
When toilet paper is on sale, you buy 100 rolls and store them.
False.
You have a collection of miniature shampoo/conditioner bottles and little soap bars that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
False.
The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic packets, which you "save" every time you get take out or go to McDonald's.
False.
You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).
False.
You spit bones and other food scraps on the table.
Um. Only when absolutely neccesary
Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
True. But that's true with all dads anyways.
When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool.
False.
Your house/apt. is always cold in winter, and hot in summer.
False. Quite the contrary in fact.
Your mom drives her Mercedes to Price Club, or Shoppers Food Warehouse regardless how far it is, even if Safeway is next door.
False.
You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since calling Directory Assistance costs 50 cents.
True. Or use the internet.
You only make long distance calls after 11pm or during weekends.
False.
You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached.
False. I'm allergic to shrimps.
You never call your parents just to say hi.
Very very true.
You think ONLY Japanese can make good CARS!
False. I think Germans makes good car.
You use a colored face cloth every morning.
False.
You starve yourself before going to all-you-can-eat places.
False.
You've joined a CD club at least once.
True. Still am.
You never discuss your love life with your parents.
Very very true.
Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm.
True. What we called "the auntie hairstyle".
Your parents still tried to get you in to places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15.
False.
You ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours later they're still lecturing.
False. My mom will actually do the entire problem plus explain it back to us. She's a math/physic whiz.
You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry.
On any given day, it'll be False. But my friend Dennis just moved and his bag of rice ended up in my pantry.
You shop at 99 ranch.
I assume it means the dollar store or something like that? False.
Everyone thinks you're "Chinese" no matter what part of Asia your ancestors were from.
True. But I am a chinese either way.
You've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life.
True. And with pictures to prove it. *wince*
Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids.
False.
You've had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest, or library.
When I was a teen. True.
Your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage"
True.
You drive mostly Japanese cars.
True, I do now. But my family had always have european cars when I was growing up.
You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.
False.
You've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put in hot dogs.
True.
You've gotten little red envelopes around February
True. With money in them.
Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back, and closet doors.
False. My ultimate collections of shoes are displayed in a fashionly order in my closet.
You hear (your name + eee (optional) + yah!) every time someone calls you (e.g. Jean - ee - yah! or Mary -yah!)
False. Unless I'm back home in Malaysia.
You have no eyelids.
False. I have extremely droopy eyelids...
Idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages, like the ever-so-popular: chingchong woo bok chi, etc...
True.
Your parents say leaving rice in your bowl is a sin.
True.
The Bio lectures on marine life (seaweed, sea cucumbers, octopii) was last night's dinner
False. True only during Chinese New Year back in Malaysia. This excludes fried calamaries right?
Your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, "In Korea (or other native country), we studied even more."
False.
Your parents expect you to be best friends with any one off the street in any given area as long as they are Asian
False.
An Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother?" Well then, "Is it your sister?"
False.
Your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs or both.
True. Fuck those incense.
Your parents say, "Calculus? I took Calculus in 8th grade!"
True. Even I said that. *guilty look*
Everyone thinks you're good at math.
Sometimes.
Your parents' vocabulary is filled with "ai-yahs, and Wah's"
False.
Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks, and English words that make no sense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange, and the ever popular lime green.
False. They'll never come visit me.
Your parents insist you marry within your race.
Don't know and don't care.
You either really, really want to go to UCI or really, really want to stay away from it.
Not quite sure on this one.
Your parents have never kissed you. Your parents have never kissed each other.
False.
You learned about the birds and the bees from someone other than your parents.
True.
"You want a stereo?! When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!!"
False.
People see a bunch of scribbles on a chopstick and ask you to translate.
True.
You have to call just about all your parent's friends "Auntie and Uncle"
Very very true.
You have 12+ aunts and uncles.
True.
At expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert.
Most of the time, true.
Your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say "Eat anyway. It's still good."
NEVER!
You will most likely be taller than your parents.
False. Unfortunately.
Your parents have either make you play the piano, the violin, or both.
True. The piano.
You get nothing if you do well in school, but crapped on if you don't
False. I was rewarded for doing well.
When going to other people's houses, you always have to bring a gift.
False.
The furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations, or any of the rest of the furniture.
False. I decorate my own place and I love it!
You own a rice cooker or two.
False.
You buy soy sauce by the gallon Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.
False.
Your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how horrible the weather was in their native country, and how much they still appreciated going.
True.
Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come.
False.
You hate Chinese food.
False. I don't hate it. I just don't have it often. Maybe once a month.
Your parents wont let you date until you are older than 20.
Very true.
You always have something to hide form your parents, love life, hate life, etc.
Very very true.
